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I have been avoiding this post for days now. This one is a bit harder to write. You see, we don't easily forget that Keandre is only ours for a time. Keandre has life-threatening food allergies to dairy, eggs, and tree nuts, and has had two serious and potentially deadly reactions already, along with countless other less serious reactions. We have to be very vigilant to keep him safe.
Keandre's first year was rough. He struggled with asthma, reflux, and severe eczema. We discovered his food allergies when at 3 - 4 months old he couldn't keep his formula down, and we couldn't find any formula on the market that he could tolerate -- even the prescription hypoallergenic ones. Miraculously, he was able to drink donated breastmilk, and six amazing women who heard of our struggles offered to be on a special allergen-free diet in order to keep our sweetie fed.
Keandre is doing much better now, having mostly outgrown his asthma and reflux. But I liken the life-threatening food allergies to living with an unfenced swimming pool in your living room. You know your child can swim, and that he knows to avoid unnecessary risks, but the danger is always there, and it is a part of your daily life. That is just our reality, and we never know when the risks may change. When Keandre was about two years old he collapsed and was rushed to the hospital by ambulance after eating scrambled eggs at someone else's house. He had not tested positive to an egg allergy, which made his reaction even scarier!
Beyond all of that.... When Keandre was nine months old, he came down with a stomach bug. At least that is what we thought it was. He was an easy-going kiddo, and we did not think much of it when he threw up off and on all day and was not interested in eating or drinking. We loved on him and went on about our day. But late that evening, I hesitated just a bit. Keandre was usually better by evening when his tummy was upset and his reflux acted up, but he was not improving. I decided to call the pediatrician, since he was not eating or drinking yet and I was concerned he could get dehydrated. When I mentioned his puke was greenish, they said to take him straight to the emergency room.
It still scares me to think that I assumed they were just playing it safe. I really didn't want to go in....what if I hadn't? I wanted to cuddle my baby at home and focus on slipping teaspoons of liquid into him. I was sure he'd be much better by morning. Thankfully, I took him in, just in case. Just hours later, he had emergency surgery, which saved his life. Keandre and I lived at the children's hospital for the next 5+ days while he recovered from intussesception. Incredibly, he had shown no signs of pain beforehand, which is usually the reason a parent takes their child to the emergency room in time to prevent serious complications or death. I was scared of his high pain tolerance after that...afraid we would miss signs of something else serious. (It was not uncommon for me to take him in for a well check and find he had double ear infections!) We were also reminded that it was only by God's grace that our son had survived.
Rarely does a day go by that I am not aware of what a gift this sweet little boy's presence is in our life. He is amazing, and such a character. A class clown in the making! Delightful. Thank you, Lord, for Keandre's presence in our family. And thank you for every day he is with us. Please continue to keep him safe, and give us the courage to trust You with his future.
We have not had such a dramatic and painful moment with Destany as we did during Lucas' birth. Instead, we have faced little challenges along with way that have, at times, worn us very thin. But we had a very special beginning with Destany that has brought great reassurance during challenging times.
Destany came into our lives when she was just three days old. We received a call from our adoption agency asking if we would like to share our profile with a young mom in the hospital. Instantly we knew....we just KNEW that we were supposed to be available for this little one. We could have had concerns about the situation, but instead felt only peace. In fact, I felt immediately that she was our daughter, and I will never forget the incredible joy that coursed through me when the agency director called back a couple hours later and asked how soon we could get to the hospital. Nichole had chosen us to parent her daughter, and just hours later we were home with our sweetie!
A couple days later, I was napping with Destany next to me in our bed. Andy came in to wake me up, and I started to weep. I was thinking about how we had prayed for Lucas during his whole pregnancy, and had so much support when we were expecting him. It was heartbreaking to realize that Nichole did not have that, and I was grieving for her deeply. And then Andy gently reminded me that WE were praying for Nichole...even though we didn't know her. Over the next few minutes, as we talked about this, we realized that we had started the adoption process the week Destany was conceived, and had been praying for her, and her birth mother, since that time. God, in His providence, matched us long before we ever knew it. We may not share Destany's genes, but God made it clear long ago that He brought her to us and has a plan for her in our family.
Oh, how we adore our little girl. She is our daughter, through and through. We are incredibly blessed!
God has also allowed a very meaningful long-term connection with Nichole and her two young sons. They are such a sweet little family, and we can't imagine our lives without them in it!
Lucas was my first experience with preterm labor. I was 30 weeks along, and having mild contractions every 3 minutes. For weeks we worried and waited, hoping our sweetie would not come early. Thankfully we made it full term! But during the last minutes of delivery, something went wrong. Lucas was in distress, and we had to get him out fast. When he was born, he was blue and limp. Our friend, Laura, was our L & D nurse. She whisked him away and frantically worked to resucitate him. There was no one to explain to us what was going on. All we knew was they were yelling for me to push him out, and now the room was very quiet. Andy and I clung to each other, wept quietly, and prayed. A few minutes later Lucas was okay, but we will never forget those moments when we committed our son to God and 'gave' Him control....choosing to trust Him however He allowed things to turn out.
Lucas is such a delightful little boy. He is sweet, compassionate, thoughtful, creative, and he loves being at home with us. He loves home schooling, and continually comes up with new ideas of what he wants to learn more about....what happens after an oil spill, how a CD works, and so much more I can't remember right now. He loves to learn!
We cannot imagine our family without Lucas. We are so blessed!
How often do we really think about the fact that our children are only ours for a time....loaned to us by God, to raise for Him? I know I'm guilty of getting complacent sometimes. I get busy with life, with parenting, with relationships, and forget for a time why God has grown our family the way He has. He sees each of our children as the right ones for our home, our life. He has equipped us -- whether we feel like it or not -- to raise each of these precious blessings for Him. To be Mommy and Daddy, to teach them about life, love, and most importantly, about Him.
With each of our little ones, God has been gracious enough to give us opportunities to remember that He is in control, He has a plan for them, and He loves them even more than we do. Over the next few days, I will post these stories about how God has reminded us that He has chosen us to parent these little ones, and He is ultimately (thankfully!) in charge of how our children turn out in life.
I'd love to hear your stories, too!
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