ON HOLD

Yep, you read that right.  We're on hold.  Our adoption, that is. 

This journey has been hard, but so worth it.  We can look back with complete confidence, knowing we followed God and we were where we were supposed to be, when we were supposed to be there.  (How's that for a tongue twister? ;)

Important connections were made during each of our failed adoptions.  And God grew us and our children through each experience.   

We are always open to another.  But lately we've noticed a new contentment stealing in.  For the first time, we're not talking constantly about 'our next baby'.  We're at peace with where we are.  Four children is keeping us very busy right now.  And it's lovely to see that we LOVE having four children.  They really do balance each other out!

We will be a 'back up' or 'emergency placement' family for our agency for a while yet.  But it seems as if our drive to adopt, our longing for another baby, has disappeared for a while. 

I promise it's not because it was too hard, or because the journey scared us away from trying again.  Adoption is not easy.  But it is *always* worth it. 

We will adopt again in a heartbeat if/when we feel God is leading us that way. :)

For now, we're taking care of business at home.  We're putting extra time and energy into caring for Keandre's health (he's down to only 10 safe foods -- more on that later).  We're helping Nichole and Keandre adjust to new levels of understanding and grieving regarding their adoption stories.  We're pulling back from extra activities and making sure our priorities are in the right place.  (Always a work in progress!)  Best of all -- we have a peace about this.

And.....here's the awkward part.  The money.  Our plan for now is to hold onto that money until we feel clear direction on what is next.  It's possible God is just giving us a rest from the journey, and time to care for other needs.  We do know that if our agency called us and needed us, we would jump in wholeheartedly, and our children would be ecstatic!  If that doesn't happen, we're planning to donate the money that is currently in our adoption fund to a non-profit organization that gives adoption grants to families in the process and who are struggling to pay the legal fees.  (If you prefer to have your donation returned, please don't hesitate to contact me.  We understand.)

Phew!  I feel better now.  This has been weighing heavy on me.  Maybe now I'll have the energy to catch up on those body butter orders. :)

A few of you are breathing deep sighs of relief right now.  Seriously, I am so flattered that you keep coming back for more!  Don't worry -- I'll continue to sell our organic whipped body butters and chapsticks. :)  But for the time being, the money will fund other important family needs, like treatment for Keandre's health issues.

Intentional Shopping

 

I've received a large number of body butter orders this week.  It turns out several bloggers have featured our organic whipped hair & body butters on their blogs.  What a fun surprise!  A big thank you to Ashlee, Sharla, Lovelyn, Lora, & Kristen for encouraging families to check out our products! :)  It's a great way for me to pass the time while we wait to find out if the little one we're matched with will be joining our family or not.  It's been a hard wait this week, so I'd appreciate prayers for that.

As we look forward to our day of thanks tomorrow, and the shopping that traditionally begins right after that, I am thankful that our family keeps it simple.  Both sides of the family exchange a bare minimum of gifts, and keep the focus on the reason that Christmas exists -- to celebrate the birth of our Savior!

This year, I've been reminded that the shopping that we do has the potential for feeding into the consumerism that surrounds us, or making a difference. 

If you are looking for opportunities to shop with a purpose this Christmas, check out this post, by Lovelyn.  Every idea posted is an opportunity to invest in helping women in other countries support their families, assist an organization that cares for orphans, or add to the adoption fund of a family bringing a new little one home.  I will be checking our budget soon.  There are some awesome products listed, and I can't wait to buy a few!

If you didn't find everything you need there, check out Andrew and Lora's blog, Vitafamiliae.  They said, "Every shop on this list represents a family or ministry raising money for adoption and orphan care. This Christmas take your gift-giving to the second power by buying gifts from these families."   Be prepared to enjoy a lot of browsing and find some very unique gift ideas.  There are almost 60 links here!

Then, since by this point you're staying up until 1am anyway, take a few more minutes and check out on of my fav blogs, Rage Against the Minivan.  Kristen says in her Gifts that Give Back post, "In a season marked by giving, I love the idea of giving back to our community and our planet. A few years ago, my family decided to forego gifts for the adults, and give donations in each person’s name instead. It’s been so fun thinking of each family member and finding ways to honor each of them with a unique donation.  Here are some great ways you can do your Christmas shopping and give back at the same time."

If you know of any other great lists, please let me know.  I'd love to post them here!

updating our adoption fund

I've been stalling on this, but it is time.  Our adoption fund took a hit with our failed adoption, and I finally updated it -- deducting the $3,100 we used.  Because we provided for all of this birthmom's needs for three weeks -- setting up 2+ months of room & board, and completing some of the legal work for the adoption, we needed to pay for those services.

This adoption loss was a painful experience for us, but thankfully, I can also say it was one without regrets.  After all, this baby is related to our sweet Keandre.  She deserves everything we could give her, and more.  We had an opportunity to be a part of her life, even if only for 3 weeks and before she was born, and we took it.  Regardless of how it turned out, Keandre and his birth family will always know that we believe God caused our paths to cross for a reason, and that we acted in faith when we were asked to be available for her, even though her birthmom later changed her mind.

We know through a relative that this precious baby will be four weeks old tomorrow.  We think of her often, and pray that she is healthy and in a loving family.  We know someday we will learn the rest of the story.  That is the blessing of an open adoption, and having continued contact with Keandre's first family.

Please know that your loving support has helped us to recover from this loss with our faith firmly intact. 

And yes, we still feel strongly that God would have us be available for another baby, and we can't wait for Him to show us what He would have us do next!

If you need some body/hair butter, please let me know.  If you need a babysitter for a date night, we'd love to help you out.  Just email us or give us a call. :)

and so we wait....

  

Yesterday morning, as I braided my niece's curls into braids with beads she loves to click-clack, I prayed for the baby girl we would soon add to our family.

Khiana, age 2

Hours later, we received news that our adoption was falling apart. 

Same as before, we won't be sharing much here.  It is a private matter, and we want to respect the privacy of all who are involved. 

Several people asked, when we announced that we were officially matched, if this was the expectant mom we mentioned briefly in this post.  Yes, it is.  All that we will share here is that this was an unusual situation.  This expectant mom knows us -- in real life and through our blog.  We respect her right to do what she feels is best for her.  And we ask for prayers for all of us as we work through some grief about things not working out as planned.

A few thoughts about all of this....

Do we regret announcing our match? 
No, not really.  It is hard when things turn out this way.  But this is life...it is the road we are walking.  We want to live life authentically, even when it is hard.  We are blessed with amazing friends and family who understand the ups and downs of adoption.  They know that in the end, when God brings a baby home through adoption, he or she will be worth the wait. :)

What now?
We grieve and finish letting go.  We relax and take care of each other.  We talk about what we could have handled differently.  We help our children express their disappointment and reassure them that although we thought this would be our baby, she was not our baby yet, and sometimes plans change.

What is the next step?
We're not sure yet, to be honest.  We don't know if God is truly going to grow our family again, or if He just wanted us to walk this road again so we'd be ready when this particular situation arose.  But through this, God is growing our ability to leave that in His hands and not have to have every detail of our lives planned out.  (If you know me, that is HARD! :)

What about fundraising?
Since we don't know what God has in store for us, we will slow down the fundraising until we feel like we have more direction.  Some of you will be relieved to know that I plan to make the whipped body/hair butter indefinitely.  (I know this because you email me and tell me to please, please, not ever stop! ;)  For now, I will keep designating all profits for our adoption fund.  We will start up the Parents' Nights Out and other fun stuff again once we know if God would have us continue to save for another adoption.

Thank you! 
For your loving prayers and support as we excitedly prepared for this little one.  You blessed us so much!

2nd Parents' Night Out

    

We had another fun and successful night! 

Four hours flies by when you're caring for 16 kiddos. :) 

Our first PNO adoption fundraiser was great, and afterward my mind was swirling with ideas on how to make it even better!  So this time, in addition to everything I did before, I added in the following:

I asked the parents help us instruct the kids on a few guidelines for the night.

I posted signs on the back door reminding everyone to wear shoes outside.

And then take them off again when they head back in.

(It bugs me the feet are all so fair, so I'll be taking my own pics for next time! ;)

Everyone brought swimsuits, towels, and their own labeled water bottle.

Once everyone had arrived, Mr. Joe made nametags for them out of blue painter's tape.

All the plates were labeled with the kiddos' names (blue tape again).  I also had all the food prepped in advance so it was easy for Erin and I to serve dinner.

All of these changes helped the evening go relatively smoothly....as much as is possible with so many kiddos! :)

Here is a little of what we did:

We played with the food toys.

We entertained the baby bunnies.

We got wet!

I don't have any great pics from the last hour or so, but after everyone was in their pjs, Mr. Joe played his guitar so we could sing and dance.  There were fun & crazy songs, then quieter worship songs to help everyone wind down.  Then we dimmed the lights and watched a movie until pick-up time.  The kids were hungry again, so I was busy serving more bananas, grapes, & carrots.

Parents' notes regarding their kiddos:

Loves his cuddles.

Cute little escape artist.

Life of the Party

mother hen

Dramatic Leader

Sweet and Helpful

Friend of the little ones.

A little sensitive.

Loves to be held.

Button Pusher

Art/Drama Queen

Tends to run away.

Will want to take home a bunny.

Kids' ages: 13 mos., 15 mos., 17 mos.,

2, 3, 4, 4, 4, 4, 5, 5, 5, 5, 6, 8, 8

The tireless volunteers:

Erin, Anna-Lise, Joe & Jenny, me & Andy

Our next Parents' Night Out adoption fundraiser will be Friday, July 22, from 5 - 9pm.  If you're interested bringing your children, or volunteering as a caregiver, please let me know ASAP. :)

First Parents' Night Out

 

Our first adoption fundraiser event was a success! 

We had 13 precious children in our care -- lots of them very young.  The ages were as follows: 13 mos., 14 mos., 15 mos., 19 mos., 21 mos., 2, 3, 3, 4, 4, 6, 7, & 8. 

The kids had a blast together, and everyone was happy, well fed, and in their pjs when their parents came back for them. 

Anna-Lise and Andy and I had fun, too.  And we slept very good that night. :)

We were blessed with $230 to add to our adoption fund that night.  Amazing!

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If you're thinking of doing a similar event, and want some ideas, here is how we approached it....

When parents arrived, we asked them to fill in a large sign-in sheet on the wall.  This made for easy reference for caregivers.

Here are a few of the notes. (Insightful parents, no? ;)
'official animal guy'
'director of play :)'
'likes to escape'
'drama!!! :)'
'all boy...can be rough, but sweet, too'
'very LOUD!!!'
'sweet 'n sassy'
'a biter :('

We had a schedule, which we followed pretty closely.

We served a meal that was healthy, easy, and could be changed up to accomodate food allergies or picky kiddos.  In short, everyone was happy and well fed by the time we left the table.

lunch meat, cheese, veggies & hummus, avocado, grapes, watermelon, etc.

We followed dinner with a healthy dessert -- Dreyers fruit popsicles (no corn syrup, food dye, etc.)  The kids didn't know the difference! :)

After everyone was cleaned up and in their pjs, we dimmed the lights and turned on Shaun the Sheep.  If you haven't seen Shaun the Sheep, you are missing out!  The youngest to the oldest all watched with interest.  We picked up this dvd for $5 at Target.  We're going to wear it out.  (Also on Netflix.)

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If you're interested, our next Parents' Night Out will be Friday, July 8.  :)

fundraising for an adoption

  
If you are not familiar with the legal fees associated with adoption, you may have wondered about fundraising -- why it's necessary, and whether it's appropriate.  My friend Cate blogged about this topic today, and I think she explained it so very well. 

Thanks for sharing our link, too, Cate.  What a fun surprise. :)

sweet baby love

  

Lucas & Destany, 2.5 years and 10 months old

If you know us IRL (in real life), you know we've been praying for an expectant mom who was considering choosing us to adopt her baby girl, due in about 2 months.  (We don't post details about potential matches -- only ask for prayer.  Thanks for understanding! :)

We were so deeply encouraged by your immediate outpouring of love, prayers for all involved, and a desire to help us fundraise to pay the adoption/legal fees.

It looks like that match is not happening after all, and we are grieving that, but trusting God with the outcome.  We know He has a plan for this Mama and her precious daughter.

Starting to get ready for this little girl to join our family definitely confirmed for us that we can't wait to adopt again.  Even our children were ready to jump in whole-heartedly. :)  Our local agency has very few waiting families right now -- they have had so many placements lately that they are at an all-time low number of available families.  So we are excited to put our energy into fundraising again, and we will be available as soon as possible.  In the meantime, our agency knows they can call us with an emergency placement if we are needed.  

My heart goes pitter-patter at just the thought of a call. :)

Parents' Night Out!

    

Needing a break from your precious kiddos?  

Wishing for a date night or a Mommy's Night out? 

We can help! :)

Our first fundraiser event will be a Parents' Night Out this Friday, June 24.  If you would like to get involved as we prepare to bring our next baby home, there are two ways you can help. 

1)  Bring your sweetie(s) to our house between 5pm and 9pm on Friday, June 24.  Enjoy a kid-free night on the town in exchange for a donation of any size toward our adoption fund.

2)  Volunteer to help provide dinner or dessert, contribute some needed supplies (play dough, sidewalk chalk, etc.), or come play a game with us us.     

What will your kids do while you are out?  We will paint and use play dough, eat dinner together, go for a walk, play games, play with the rabbits, and generally have a great time!  We'll end the night with a movie so everyone can wind down before their parents pick them up.

Details: There will be a ratio of one caregiver for every 4 children.  All hands-on caregivers will be friends who we would trust with our own children.  And if you send pjs and toothbrushes, your child(ren) will even be ready for bed when you return. 

Please comment here or email me if you'd like to be involved.  And thank you for your continued love and support! :)

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To see how it went, check here.  Definitely a fun and successful night!

adoption fundraising

I have been neglecting our blog lately, but I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things soon.  I have missed this outlet, and a few of you have wondered where we are.  I will catch you up soon. :)

In the meantime, we need your help. 

Are you familiar with any organizations that offer adoption grants, help families fundraise for adoptions, or match their efforts dollar for dollar? 

God is prompting us to get moving and trust Him for the outcome.  We aren't sure where to start.  If you post your ideas in the comments here, we will follow up on every single idea, organization, etc.

Also, this post will be easy for other potential adoptive families to find through a simple search, so your ideas will help others, too.

Thank you so much! 

Truly Pure & Natural

 

If you've been considering the purchase of some of those awesome Lifefactory glass water bottles I talked about a while back, or some of the other TPN products I reviewed here, this is your chance! 

TPN is offering free shipping the rest of the month on every order over $25. 

If you use the button on the right side of our blog to get to the Truly Pure and Natural website, 15% of your purchase goes toward our adoption fund.  Then enter the code EARTHDAY when you check out to get free shipping. 

Happy Shopping! :)

BOHO - pics from farmer's market

 

Three weeks ago we committed at the last minute to participate in our first farmers' market at the Boho Farm + Home.  It was a success!  I sold several tubs of body butter, and a number of chapsticks.  Even better, I met some lovely and talented people from our community.

The just-harvested organic produce, homemade jam and muffins, and peppermint lemonade were absolutely delicious.  I slipped away from our booth as often as possible to check out the crafts, jewelry, beautiful headbands (picture coming soon), and more.  I left with more ideas than I have time to try out! 

Caroline did an amazing job organizing this event, and I hope that once she recovers from the craziness she plans another one. :)  You can check out Caroline's blog post about it all here.  Jill, from Sweet Life Garden and Neighborhood Garden Party, also posted pictures here.

One unexpected twist....it was a hot day!  The temperature hit the low 90s, and that is not helpful when selling body butter.  The ones in the ice chest were fine.  But my samples slowly changed from the texture of fresh whipped cream to melted ice cream.  Ha!  Next time I will have them sitting on ice packs.  (Ironically, it was rainy and in the mid-50s today!)

First Annual BOHO Farmers'/Flea Market

   

Brand new to owning chickens, we decided to join in the fun at the local Tour de Coops this past December.  What a blast!  Our second-to-last stop was an incredible urban farm in Central Phoenix, called Boho Farm + Home.  Caroline and David were so kind, and they chatted with us for quite a while about their chickens, fruit trees and square foot gardens, and sustainable gardening in the city.  Our kiddos loved running around their lush green yard, playing with the chickens, and dreaming with us about how we'd like to make our own backyard just a little more like theirs.  (You can see Destany and Keandre with Caroline here.)

Well, long story short, they are hosting a farmer's market/flea market at their house this Saturday, and we are going to be selling our body/hair butters there!  I am excited and a bit nervous.

Now I'm praying that I will have time this week to make 8 - 10 batches of body butter.  (That in itself is time-consuming labor of love.)  Plus I'll need to do a huge batch of sweet orange and peppermint chapsticks.  And print up cards with our info on them.  And plan how to set up our booth.

I think I'll do that during my free time this week....while home schooling, caring for my family and home, and visiting with Andy's family, who will be in town this week.  Now, where did I put my Superwoman outfit???

If you'd like to stop by the Market, here is the address:

Boho Farm and Home
(Caroline & David Van Slyke)
4617 N. 39th Street
Phoenix, AZ  85018

Small Steps on Our Journey - review & giveaway!

  

Rachel, a friend from church, has a blog called Small Steps on Our Journey.  It is dedicated to recording their journey to improving their health and reducing their impact on the environment. 

This week, Rachel reviewed our body & hair butter, and she combined the review with a giveaway!  The drawing will be on Friday night, April 8.  You can check it out here. :)

One Dad's Thoughts...

  

I just had to post this.  It is one Dad's perspective on how God convicted him to be available as an adoptive dad when he was initially quite reluctant. 

David & Erica were in our local adoption group before moving to Florida.  I'm excited to share that God blessed them with the $30,000+ needed for this adoption (legal fees, agency fees, travel, orphanage donations, etc.), and they are in Ethiopia right now, waiting for the final document needed to bring their daughter home.

It has been a long year, full of faith lessons, tears, fatigue, and confirmation that God would provide in His timing.  And He did.  (He funds what He favors! :)

When they adopted Silas, God asked them to give up everything to bring their son home.  It was hard, but they did it.  Huge financial sacrifices.  They would be the first to say it was well worth it.

This time, He asked them to humble themselves and ask others to come alongside them to help bring their daughter home.  They obeyed.  He blessed.  Precious Zahra will be home soon!

To follow their journey to child number five, check out their family blog here.

ps - Although I think it's clear that God calls all of us to care for orphans, adoption is not the only way to care.  How is He calling you to care? :)

Oh, so easy.

Want to support our adoption fund while shopping for something fun for yourself?  Check out these links! 

We earn a 15% commission through Chunky Bling.  Their necklaces, bracelets, rings, and watches are beautiful! 



At Kelly's Closet we earn 5% on all orders through our button.  Kelly's Closet does not just sell cloth diapering supplies.  They also sell baby carriers, bedding, swimming gear, laundry detergent, skin care products, nursing supplies, and Mama care items. 



Truly Pure & Natural also sends 15% our way.  I recently blogged about them here and here.  Awesome company.

Our body & hair butter is now sold through Curly Is Cuter.  Check out Rachel's beads and beaders, snaps & barrettes, hair & skin care products, etc.  She has a huge assortment for sale, and you can do all that shopping from the comfort of your own home. Watch out -- don't get addicted to the hair bling! :)

If you want to grab our button and spread the word about our fundraisers, the html code is on our blog home page.

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Thank you, thank you for supporting our adoption fund!  It is humbling to see how many of you are supporting our efforts to bring home our baby.  Family, friends, acquiantances, and people we have never even met.  It is such confirmation of God's call for us to be available for one more precious child.  Even now, He is paving the way for him/her to be joined to us. 

Work is picking up for Andy, and if all goes well he will be able to fully support our family again in the next few months.  As soon as we are off partial unemployment, we will be ready to be presented to expectant Mamas through our local Christian agency.  We are so excited! 
(If you need a licensed architect for your home addition or other project, please let us know. :)

Change is Good

 

My very talented sister-in-law, Sarah, generously donated her time and materials to help us turn this new fundraising idea into a reality. 

Awesome, huh?  She came up with that cute little poem at 3am while up with her youngest.  I definitely don't think that clearly in the middle of the night. LOL

We would be happy to give a decorated jar to anyone who would like to toss in their change at the end of the day.  If you live out of state, I can mail you a label to put on any jar you have around the house.  After all, it's amazing how quickly a little change can add up. :)

Sarah also designed these beautiful labels for our body & hair butter.  I love how they turned out! 

In other fun news, our body butter is now being sold through an online store that features hair and skin care products for curly-haired cuties.  Rachel started Curly is Cuter while fundraising for her own family's adoption.  It became so successful that she kept it up even after their little one came home! 

When Rachel learned about our fundraiser, she offered to include our products on her website, just to help us out.  She sells a lot of great stuff, and her prices and shipping are both very reasonable.  Please head over and check out Curly is Cuter -- you won't be disappointed!  (For those of you with non-curly cuties, she has barrettes and headbands that you'll love, too. :)

And the winner is.....

 

You may have noticed that we're not very high-tech, with random number generators, etc. We think the old-fashioned way is more fun!  Brooklyn definitely enjoyed being my helper today. 

Cami -- Email me your address, and I'll mail your water bottle out tomorrow.  Or feel free to schedule a play date (my house or yours), and we'll get it to you that way! :)

A big thank you to everyone who spread the word and contributed!

Truly Pure & Natural

After reading my recent post about Truly Pure & Natural, a few of my lovely readers have expressed an interest in ordering their products.  I thought it might help if I share a few of my favorite products (so far).

One of our favorite products is Tate's The Natural Miracle Shampoo.  Created with organic, all-natural ingredients (no chemicals, preservatives, fillers, etc.), and PH balanced, it is meant to be a multi-use product.  It not only smells great, but it also lathers wonderfully!  Andy and I both love it as a body wash and face wash.  I have struggled with acne pretty much my whole life, and since purchasing this about 6 months ago, it has not been an issue!  Apparently it is the perfect product for my skin.  :) 

Although there is a regular conditioner to pair with the above shampoo, I ended up prefering this conditioning shampoo, which is also nice because I can skip a step and avoid shampooing and conditioning separately.  I had to get used to the fact that it doesn't lather well, probably because of the conditioner in it, but it cleans my hair great, and leaves it manageable and easy to comb.  I also use it as face wash sometimes.  It's not my favorite as a body wash simply because it doesn't lather much, but it still gets the job done.

Although a little pricey, we are completely hooked on Tate's The Natural Miracle toothpaste.  It is the best tasting natural toothpaste I have ever used, and I assure you, I have tried quite a few.  You will not be disappointed with this pick.  A little goes a long way.

Truly Pure & Natural also carries hand-made and cut bars of soap.  I tried out the Lemongrass scent, and it is wonderful!  Our whole bathroom smells great, and our hands are lightly scented, too.  (Andy is reading over my shoulder, and he says he loves this soap!)

The 'Soap for Teeth' is the one product I have not been happy with at all.  I read some good reviews somewhere, and thought it might be a money saver if we like it.  I'll suffice it to say that I'm not a fan of soap in my mouth, and this is soap...for my mouth.  Not a sensation or taste I prefer. ;)  If you'd like to give it a try, I'm happy to pass it along to you.  Maybe you'll like it better than me.  I hate for it to go to waste. 

And of course I recommend the Lifefactory glass water bottles.  Read more about our favorite water bottles here.  And don't forget to spread the word about our raffle fundraiser and get a free raffle ticket here.  Last day is Thursday, 2/17!

Just a quick reminder....  If you buy from Truly Pure & Natural, you not only support a lovely adoptive family, but you also support our adoption fund!  Nick & Denise have pledged 15% of all sales through my blog post links or the button on our side bar to our adoption fund. :)

Lifefactory Glass Water Bottle - RAFFLE!

 

You may have noticed in this post that there was one 16 oz. water bottle with the tags still on.  (Purchased through Truly Pure & Natural; $20 value.)  Although we would gladly put it to use, I had another fun idea.  A raffle to benefit our adoption fund! 

There are two easy ways to participate:

~One entry for spreading the word about this raffle -- FB, Twitter, or your blog. Please leave a comment telling me where you shared.

~One entry for every $5 you donate to our adoption fund through our Paypal link.  (Please let me know it's for the Lifefactory water bottle raffle.)

That's it!  Easy-peasy. 

I will compile the total number of entries and one of the kiddos will draw a name on Friday morning, February 18.  I'll announce the winner here on our blog.  If you don't live near us, I will ship it as soon as I have your address.  

Thanks for supporting our adoption fundraiser! :)