That place again

 
It's official.  We're at that place again. 

The place where what you thought was going to happen, doesn't happen.

Where you either get mad about your situation and give up, or you hang on and trust God. 

The day after Thanksgiving, V and her Dad let me know they are planning to keep the baby.  I had wondered if it might be coming, so I was not caught completely off guard.  But it was still hard. 

Three days ago, on Lucas' birthday (his one wish!), this precious baby made her appearance.  There was such happiness in his voice when V's dad called to share the news.  She is very loved.  I suspect she has her Grandpa wrapped around her little finger already.

We've been invited to continue in our friendship with this sweet family.  We are not sure what that will look like yet, but we look forward to keeping a connection with them.

Please pray for us as we walk this road. 

Please also pray for V as she begins her parenting journey.

This is not easy.  We are a little discouraged.  This was to be a designated adoption, which would cost us only basic legal fees.  Now we will work with our adoption agency and our fees will be $9,000.  Their fees are SO reasonable and warranted.  They cover counseling, a few birthmother expenses, legal paperwork, etc.  And we love our agency, so we are happy to pay for their services.  But it is a big jump for a family that just experienced three years of unemployment.  (Did I mention Andy just started a new job?  That is another post! :)

Thank you for the loving support and encouragement we've received from so many of you.  You remind us in these low moments that this journey is about much more than growing a family.

Intentional Shopping

 

I've received a large number of body butter orders this week.  It turns out several bloggers have featured our organic whipped hair & body butters on their blogs.  What a fun surprise!  A big thank you to Ashlee, Sharla, Lovelyn, Lora, & Kristen for encouraging families to check out our products! :)  It's a great way for me to pass the time while we wait to find out if the little one we're matched with will be joining our family or not.  It's been a hard wait this week, so I'd appreciate prayers for that.

As we look forward to our day of thanks tomorrow, and the shopping that traditionally begins right after that, I am thankful that our family keeps it simple.  Both sides of the family exchange a bare minimum of gifts, and keep the focus on the reason that Christmas exists -- to celebrate the birth of our Savior!

This year, I've been reminded that the shopping that we do has the potential for feeding into the consumerism that surrounds us, or making a difference. 

If you are looking for opportunities to shop with a purpose this Christmas, check out this post, by Lovelyn.  Every idea posted is an opportunity to invest in helping women in other countries support their families, assist an organization that cares for orphans, or add to the adoption fund of a family bringing a new little one home.  I will be checking our budget soon.  There are some awesome products listed, and I can't wait to buy a few!

If you didn't find everything you need there, check out Andrew and Lora's blog, Vitafamiliae.  They said, "Every shop on this list represents a family or ministry raising money for adoption and orphan care. This Christmas take your gift-giving to the second power by buying gifts from these families."   Be prepared to enjoy a lot of browsing and find some very unique gift ideas.  There are almost 60 links here!

Then, since by this point you're staying up until 1am anyway, take a few more minutes and check out on of my fav blogs, Rage Against the Minivan.  Kristen says in her Gifts that Give Back post, "In a season marked by giving, I love the idea of giving back to our community and our planet. A few years ago, my family decided to forego gifts for the adults, and give donations in each person’s name instead. It’s been so fun thinking of each family member and finding ways to honor each of them with a unique donation.  Here are some great ways you can do your Christmas shopping and give back at the same time."

If you know of any other great lists, please let me know.  I'd love to post them here!

Adoption Support 101

We were honored last week when Sharla, from Adoption Magazine (based in Canada), asked if she could share our post on supporting adoptive families.  (Click here to read.) 

Sharla's blog exists to encourage adoptive families, share the beauty and complexity of the adoption journey, and share information with those who are considering walking this road.  I encourage you to check it out!

While you're there, take a few minutes to read my friend Denise's post on failed adoptions, called Empty Car Seats.  She beautifully captured the roller coaster ride that is adoption.  Now I don't need to write that post myself! ;)

It's a girl!

 

Today, we are celebrating.  It is official!  Yesterday afternoon, we met with a beautiful young lady who has asked us to adopt her little girl, due the beginning of December.  V is from Togo, and she has not been in the states for long.  We had a wonderful visit, complete with a viewing of her brand new ultrasound pictures.  Baby girl was facing up, so they captured her precious little face, and a foot print, too! 

We have such a peace about this situation.  We were matched through friends, and it is very evident that God brought this young lady across our path for a reason.  We hope it is so we can adopt her little sweetie, and we have great hopes for a wonderful relationship with her, too. 

Such excitement around our house today.  The weather is changing, a baby is coming, and we can't wait to get ready for her.  We have so much to be thankful for. :)

Polka Dots (24 hours later)

  

Ah, the poor, suffering child. :)

Favorite natural remedies:
(not all at once, of course!)

• vitamin D3
• vitamin A
• vitamin C
• herbal remedy every 2 hours
• green juice with probiotics mixed in
• bath with oatmeal in a sock; don't rinse
• bath with a few drops peppermint oil and tea tree oil; don't rinse
• bath with epsom salt & baking soda; don't rinse
• 1/2 tsp. baking soda in 1 c. water; dab mixture on spots and let dry
• organic raw apple cider vinegar; dab on spots, let dry
• olive oil and vitamin E oil as an 'everywhere' moisturizer (optional: add 1 drop tea tree oil)
• chaparral healing salve on spots
• mixture of raw honey, cinnamon, & vitamin E on spots

We decided a long time ago, for a variety of reasons, that we did not want our children to have the chicken pox vaccine.  When a friend's children came down with chicken pox, we exposed all the kids and prepared ourselves for self-imposed quarantine and a good case of the itchies.  Two weeks later, Lucas & Destany had a little fever and a couple spots.  We exposed everyone again, and Keandre got a mild case (12 spots/all the classic symptoms).  What gives?

Finally, we figured it out.  Although I had told her we didn't want the vaccine, our former pediatrician (SO glad I can say 'former') gave the older three children an MMR/Varicella combination.  I didn't know such a thing existed, and I was not happy when I figured this out a few days ago.  Grrrr....  We decided that at least this was a good booster and will hopefully bring good immunity regardless.

Brooklyn was the last to get them, possibly because she is still nursing.  She is handling it wonderfully!

We know 9 or 10 families who have been taking this polka dotted journey with us, so we've had no lack of playtime with them.  But we are glad it is almost over, too!  We are ready to head back out to the park, the grocery store, and for playdates with friends who didn't feel like sharing the polka dots with us. :)

Our Day in Pictures

 

Andy has started biking Destany to school some days.

She loves it!

Brooklyn has the chicken pox.  Not too many spots so far.  We're doing lots of baths, which she loves!

While I was busy giving baths, Lucas decided to take the morning off school and dig a big hole in the backyard.

Before B's morning nap, we put a raw honey, cinnamon, and vitamin E mixture on her spots.  She was a sweet and sticky mess, but she slept great, and woke up happy!  Then into another oatmeal bath she went. :)

updating our adoption fund

I've been stalling on this, but it is time.  Our adoption fund took a hit with our failed adoption, and I finally updated it -- deducting the $3,100 we used.  Because we provided for all of this birthmom's needs for three weeks -- setting up 2+ months of room & board, and completing some of the legal work for the adoption, we needed to pay for those services.

This adoption loss was a painful experience for us, but thankfully, I can also say it was one without regrets.  After all, this baby is related to our sweet Keandre.  She deserves everything we could give her, and more.  We had an opportunity to be a part of her life, even if only for 3 weeks and before she was born, and we took it.  Regardless of how it turned out, Keandre and his birth family will always know that we believe God caused our paths to cross for a reason, and that we acted in faith when we were asked to be available for her, even though her birthmom later changed her mind.

We know through a relative that this precious baby will be four weeks old tomorrow.  We think of her often, and pray that she is healthy and in a loving family.  We know someday we will learn the rest of the story.  That is the blessing of an open adoption, and having continued contact with Keandre's first family.

Please know that your loving support has helped us to recover from this loss with our faith firmly intact. 

And yes, we still feel strongly that God would have us be available for another baby, and we can't wait for Him to show us what He would have us do next!

If you need some body/hair butter, please let me know.  If you need a babysitter for a date night, we'd love to help you out.  Just email us or give us a call. :)

Catching Up

I know, I know.  It's been *forever* since I posted.  I'm happy to be back in the swing of things!  We've been laying low for a while, busy with family, dealing with the adoption loss, and enjoying the start of the new school year.  A friend and I just started a multicultural home school group, and we're excited to be off to a great start.  (Fourteen families have joined already!)  And did I mention the weather just turned in Phoenix?!  Ahhhh, hope is in the air. :)

First things first.  I went back through my unfinished drafts and posted a few of them (post-dated, of course).  Enjoy!     

• a first for the CA side of the family
• a new AZ family picture
• a new AZ cousin picture
• a new Father's Day picture tradition