and so we wait....

  

Yesterday morning, as I braided my niece's curls into braids with beads she loves to click-clack, I prayed for the baby girl we would soon add to our family.

Khiana, age 2

Hours later, we received news that our adoption was falling apart. 

Same as before, we won't be sharing much here.  It is a private matter, and we want to respect the privacy of all who are involved. 

Several people asked, when we announced that we were officially matched, if this was the expectant mom we mentioned briefly in this post.  Yes, it is.  All that we will share here is that this was an unusual situation.  This expectant mom knows us -- in real life and through our blog.  We respect her right to do what she feels is best for her.  And we ask for prayers for all of us as we work through some grief about things not working out as planned.

A few thoughts about all of this....

Do we regret announcing our match? 
No, not really.  It is hard when things turn out this way.  But this is life...it is the road we are walking.  We want to live life authentically, even when it is hard.  We are blessed with amazing friends and family who understand the ups and downs of adoption.  They know that in the end, when God brings a baby home through adoption, he or she will be worth the wait. :)

What now?
We grieve and finish letting go.  We relax and take care of each other.  We talk about what we could have handled differently.  We help our children express their disappointment and reassure them that although we thought this would be our baby, she was not our baby yet, and sometimes plans change.

What is the next step?
We're not sure yet, to be honest.  We don't know if God is truly going to grow our family again, or if He just wanted us to walk this road again so we'd be ready when this particular situation arose.  But through this, God is growing our ability to leave that in His hands and not have to have every detail of our lives planned out.  (If you know me, that is HARD! :)

What about fundraising?
Since we don't know what God has in store for us, we will slow down the fundraising until we feel like we have more direction.  Some of you will be relieved to know that I plan to make the whipped body/hair butter indefinitely.  (I know this because you email me and tell me to please, please, not ever stop! ;)  For now, I will keep designating all profits for our adoption fund.  We will start up the Parents' Nights Out and other fun stuff again once we know if God would have us continue to save for another adoption.

Thank you! 
For your loving prayers and support as we excitedly prepared for this little one.  You blessed us so much!