November in Phoenix

Lest we forget our winter blessings when it's July

and 110 degrees in the shade.

(Yes, the kids are barefoot and wearing short-sleeved
t-shirts. :)

Under the Weather

Sometimes, even with a healthy lifestyle and good nutrition, you get hit with illness.  It seems like half the people we know have the flu right now!  We've been under the weather this week, too.  It can take a while to get through a household of 8 people.  Fevers, nausea, achy body, coughing fits, we've seen it all.  We're not too bad off, for the most part, just a lot of resting, napping together, and extra TV time.  Andy and I were hit first, so at least we can take care of the others now.

We learned that while under the weather, you might decide to try out a baby bottle for the first time ever - and like it!  Daddy enjoyed the snuggle time.  (Can you believe how long her hair is getting?)

And you might start sleeping in unusual places.

Your big sister, too.

Then one brother....

and another.

There are downed children and comfort items everywhere we look.  Poor sweeties.  It hit little Isaac today, so Anna-Lise is the only one to escape the bug so far.  (We're rooting for you, Anna! :)

Keandre has been sleeping around the clock for 2 days now, but as of tonight, his fever is finally dropping.

These two snuggled up and watched Curious George 2 next to me while I napped.  This is the life, right?  (Ha...Lucas would disagree!)

We haven't had the flu in 3+ years.  At least we got it over with early this season, right?

What do you do to build your family's immunity during the winter sick season? 
(blog post on that soon)

Baby Bunnies

We decided to let our rabbits breed again, in hopes of ending up with a couple female bunnies we can tame better than the last set.  Since they run free in our backyard, we weren't aware of them having a litter until Andy was working out back and discovered four baby bunnies hopping around on the patio.  The kids are, of course, overjoyed!  We put them in a hutch so we can tame them.  They are getting plenty of love and attention from our kids and the neighbor friends.  Nichole and Leslie are pretty much inseparable lately, and Lucas and Chez are playing a lot, too!

Funny Friday

Just a few of the funnies around here lately....

(March '12)

Lucas got tired of holding the phone.

(April '12)

Brooklyn and cousin Madeline dressed the tortoise in baby girl pants.

Keandre and Nichole got married.  And had a child.  All in the same hour.

They were the typical, doting parents, quite proud of their cape-wearing tyke.

Uncle Ian's tortoise was part of our Easter egg hunt.  He stayed in this position for a good 15 minutes.  So cooperative! :)

A couple tigers and a cheetah planned a playdate...

...and together, they learned the joys of photography in motion.

(May 2012)

Brooklyn's hair took on a life of its own.

And she turned two! :)

 Keandre tried out a new sleeping position. He successfully slept on top of legos, a heat lamp, and his guitar. (Yes, their bedroom floor is usually that messy. I gave up -- and that is why they have a baby gate in their doorway! :)

So....what's funny in your life these days?

Brooklyn's 'babies'

At 22 months old, Brooklyn has a new pastime.  She catches flies.  They are her babies.  I have no idea how she is so good at this, but she catches them regularly! 

Here, she is scrunching up her shoulders and squealing with delight. :)

"Fy! Fy!"  (She is like a delighted little Mama as she cares for her 'baby'.)

She often gives the fly a home and carries it around the house saying 'baby', and showing it to whoever will take the time to look.

Once I realize what she's busy with, we take it outside and 'let it go'.  In the planter, of course, so she doesn't notice so easily that it's no longer moving.  And then we wash our hands. :)

jump, jump, jump!

We have very busy kiddos.  They needed a new way to burn some of that energy.  I needed a break from them asking to ride their skooters in the front yard all the time.  So we splurged for a 7.5 foot diameter trampoline.  Best money we've spent in a long time. :)

We were hit with a cold front last week.  It was early still, and just 45 degrees out, and they jumped until their cheeks hurt from the cold.  (We're kinda wimpy here in S. AZ.) 

Gotta love those rosy cheeks!

We don't let the kids jump in socks -- too slippery.  Nichole was jealous of Keandre and Brooklyn's footie pjs, so she borrowed Keandre's spares.  Yeah....that didn't last long.  She said they were itchy!  And she's a bit of a fasionista and a girly-girl, so the pattern didn't help any. ;)

chores!?!

     

  (source)

Does that word cause a pit in your stomach?  It does for me!  Our job as parents is to prepare our children for the world that awaits them -- spiritually, emotionally, and physically.  This includes the life skills that will help them be successful in life. 

Andy and I realized recently that we had slipped into that old parenting habit of constantly reminding our children to do what they already know they need to do. It was miserable for us and for the kids.  And it wasn't working.

Last I checked, Andy's boss doesn't bribe, cajole, or nag to get him to stay focused on his work.  It is Andy's responsibility to get his work done on time.  If he does, he is rewarded with good relationships with his boss and coworkers.  He is also rewarded with a paycheck!  If he doesn't do his work, 'real life' rewards him with some natural and logical consequences. 

Our former approach not only wasn't working; it was not preparing them for a world where they will not be reminded over and over to do their work -- they will receive a  natural or logical consequence (failed grade, lost job, etc.) and life will go on.  When they are grown, it is up to them whether they learn from those experiences, but in our home, we can talk about it and learn together. 

I had already prepared chore charts for each of them a few months ago, so they knew exactly what they needed to do, and when.  (ie, 'before lunch', 'before playing with friends', etc.)  The novelty had worn off.

We have now been using our new system for a couple weeks now, and I have to say we are all very happy with it!  We still use the above pictured chore charts.  In addition, here is what we did:

Please excuse the wrinkles on my 'example' chart. 

A certain toddler stepped on it as I was taking the picture. :)

We raised each child's allowance from a conservative $.25 per year (Nichole was receiving $1.75 per week at age 7) to $.50 per year (Nichole now receives $3.50 per week).  Lucas receives an addition $2 per week for caring for the chickens, rabbits, turtles, etc.

Then Andy and I considered the tasks that we find ourselves regularly nagging reminding them to do, and put a new policy in place -- they need to do their own work, or plan on paying someone else to do it.

Why is this a reasonable approach, you say?  Well, the reality is that we don't all keep up with what we need to do.  For instance, if Papa doesn't have time to mow his lawn, he might hire Daddy or Uncle Ian to do it for him.  If I've been focused on home schooling and I'm behind around the house, I occasionally hire a cleaning service to come and help me catch up.  Those are logical and acceptable alternatives to doing the work ourselves.

Our kids get a kick out of the fact that they don't have to do their work if they prefer not to.  Instead of hearing, "_____, you still haven't put your dishes in the dishwasher!", you will see Daddy clean up Sunday lunch, notice that a child was excused but did not take care of his dishes, do it for him, and note it on the chart.  Later, he will gently remind him, "You were busy with other activities. The job needed done, and I was happy to do it for you."  If the child complains about losing the money, the reply is, "You are welcome to do it yourself next time." :) 

Paying us to do their work for them is not a discipline....it is a privilege!  They get to choose to use their money that way if they wish, and we focus on the fact that we are all a team together, keeping the home running smoothly.  They are also learning the value of saving and spending.  (If they go into the negative, which we haveen't faced so far, they will need to either work to pay us back, or lose a privilege.)

On Saturdays, we go over the chart with them. (No shaming or tsk-tsking over how often we may have put their dishes in the dishwasher for them, or the fact that they skipped their chores 3 times this week.)  Then we divvy up the money due and head to a nearby thrift store, where there is much happiness as quarters and dollars are spent, and much searching for the 50% off colored tags.  (They are also learning how to shop for a bargain! :)  Each of them checks out on their own so they can hand over their money and keep their own change.  Doing this regularly helps them value their money in a way that we didn't see when it was just sitting in their bank.

How do you handle chores around your house?

Things We Love: Stripey PJs

 

Brooklyn's: Hanna Anderson (from Costco)

Keandre's: Children's Place

My handsome little boy.

I cannot believe he is turning 5 soon!

Reading a book together on the windowsill.

I LOVE our low windowsills. :)

Our Day in Pictures

 

Andy has started biking Destany to school some days.

She loves it!

Brooklyn has the chicken pox.  Not too many spots so far.  We're doing lots of baths, which she loves!

While I was busy giving baths, Lucas decided to take the morning off school and dig a big hole in the backyard.

Before B's morning nap, we put a raw honey, cinnamon, and vitamin E mixture on her spots.  She was a sweet and sticky mess, but she slept great, and woke up happy!  Then into another oatmeal bath she went. :)

in other news....

- our rabbits are almost named.
- we are getting 3 - 4 eggs daily -- blue/grey, tan, and brown.
- the kids and I are slowly working through a list of important life skills that will take years and years to teach. (oh, wait -- isn't that the point of parenting?)
- the chapsticks we make have stylish new labels.
- we're trying something new in our house, and it has to do with little glass marbles.
- we had family in town recently, and we missed them the day they left!
- we're in a hair rut, but I have a new idea to try out.
- March kids' quotes are way overdue.

So....lots of posts in the works.  Someday soon, I hope! :)

Have I ever told you about.....?

     

Two of our sweeties can be rather challenging.*

One precious child struggles, at the heart level, to fully trust us to meet needs, to be safe and trustworthy, to love no matter what.  There is a deep need to control the surrounding environment.  It is hard.

Another is strong-willed.  Desiring to keep us on our toes.  Arguing with pretty much everything we say.  Delightful, I know.  We choose to believe it's a stage. :)

When our kiddos were a little younger, there were days that I called my mom, in tears, fearing deeply that I may not be able to help my child's heart heal.  I was anxious about the depth of the battle.  I longed to love without conflict, yet unsure of how to do that. 

Cue the hallelujah chorus.

My mom, experienced Mama that she is (four kids in six years!), gave us one of the best parenting tips ever.  It takes the distraction tactic to a new level.  It helps avoid those silly little battles that don't need to happen.  It has saved many a morning around here when one child seemed determined to sabotage the day for everyone.  And here is how it works.  (Yes, I am sharing this little gem for free! ;)

Mama:  "Hey sweetie, it's time to go to the bathroom.  We're leaving soon."
Child:  "I don't need to go!"
Mama:  "That's okay.  You don't have to go -- you just need to try."
Child:  "I don't want to!  I already went a while ago."
(You can see where this is going, right?  Ugh.  Been there, done that.  Not getting anywhere that way.)

Let's try this again....

Mama: "Hey sweetie, it's time to go to the bathroom. We're leaving soon."
Child: "I don't need to go!"
Mama:  "Hey, have I ever told you about ANTEATERS?  Can you believe there is a type of animal that actually eats bugs?  Crazy, huh.  Are you hungry for ants?  I bet I could catch some for our morning snack.  Ha, ha, ha...."

Meanwhile, Mom takes the child by the hand and nonchalantly walks toward the bathroom while filling the child in on the amazing anteater.  Getting there, she helps the child onto the potty, and keeps on talking.  Child cooperates.  Child does not seem to notice that s/he has been had.  Or child does not care, and chooses to bask in the positive (rather than negative!) attention. 

AMAZING.  Life-changing for us.  I dare you to try it! 

This also works with getting shoes on, cleaning up toys (hand the child toys to toss into the tub while you chat), getting in the bathtub, etc.  The main trick is to be calm, keep it interesting, and keep on talking, engaging them as you go along.  And don't talk about the battle they just tried to start.  Just keep on going.  (Deal with those heart issues when your child is in a better mood.  I promise, your conversation will be much more effective that way!)

My problem was Mommy Brain.  You know....that tiny little issue where formerly intelligent women struggle to string two coherant thoughts together.  I loved this idea, but wondered how in the world I'd put it into practice on the days when I really needed it.  Those days when I'm wiped out, tired of the battles, and just trying to keep it together. 

Again, my Mom came through for me.  The alphabet.  Come on -- tell me you didn't wonder why in the world I started with Anteaters.  When I use this tactic, I start with the letter A and quickly scan through.  The first semi-intriguing topic that pops into my head is the one I go with.  Alligators?  The beach?  Falling stars?  You betcha. 

Okay, now it's your turn.  Try this out, and tell me how it goes.  If you love it, I'll pass along the thank-yous to my Mom. :)

And please feel free to share your sanity saver parenting tips, too!  Goodness knows we can all use new ideas from time to time.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

*Did you know that a terribly stressful and conflicted pregnancy can change the way a child's brain develops? Our bodies are so intricately designed! Although healing truly is possible, it does not happen overnight, and it takes some pretty intentional parenting. More on that another day.

9 months old

    

 

Pajama girl escapes again!

Things We Love: Lifefactory Glass Water Bottles

  

A while back, Andy and I discovered Truly Pure & Natural, an online store devoted to healthy, non-toxic living.  Nick and Denise started their store after searching out safer everyday products for their four children, who have a variety of special needs.

The first item I purchased was a Lifefactory glass water bottle.  As you can see, it only took one, and we were hooked! :)

The kiddos each have their own 9-oz water bottle, which they use for water or juice, often on-the-go.  I sometimes use one of the 9-oz bottles for an iced mocha when we're running out the door.  And I definitely use my 16-oz water bottle daily!  The 22-oz bottle is used less often, but I sometimes bring it along to refill the kids' bottles. 

We store several water bottles in a reusable lunch bag hanging by the front door, so we can grab them on the way out the door.  Others sit on the kitchen counter, replacing the IKEA plastic cups we used to use constantly.

As described by Lifefactory: our BPA-free reusable beverage bottles are clear soda lime glass wrapped in a modern silicone sleeve -- an intelligently designed, clean tasting, chemical-free container for all your favorite beverages.  (I would agree, by the way.)

Lifefactory also makes baby bottles, safe teethers, and other accessories.  Soon they will have sport tops for their water bottles.  If there is enough demand, Nick & Denise would be happy to sell these items through their store as well.  Let them know if you'd like some! 
 
The Big News: 
I told Denise a while back that I love the water bottles and will be blogging about them.  Of course they were thrilled, but then she came back with some exciting news.  As an adoptive family themselves, they love supporting other adoptive families.  They have decided to donate 15% of TPN sales through our blog to our adoption fund!  (Happy dance! :)
 
If you decide to purchase a Lifefactory water bottle, or anything else through TPN, please use the link from this blog entry or the button in the side bar.  
 
I'd love to know if you order, and what you think of them.  And thank you!  :)

Things We Love: 'I Never Forget a Face'

 

This game has been a favorite around here for a long time.  The artwork is eye-catching and full of beautiful detail.  I love that the pictures spark conversations about children from other cultures and countries.  Last time we played, we kept a globe nearby. :)

 

Although it is geared for ages 5 and up, we have successfully played it with Keandre, age three.  We use fewer cards, or make a point of being pretty laid back about it all.  We laugh a lot, too -- easy to do when your kiddo is making up the rules as you go along, and has no idea how comical his thoughts are!

If you decide to go purchase this game, pleasepleaseplease consider using this link.  It takes you to the same ol' Amazon.com, but sweet little Madi gets some of the proceeds from the sale.  Her parents use the money to buy her much-needed items that have helped her stand, learn to walk, and more. 

(If you want to pass along the link to others, here it is:

http://www.amazon.com/?_encoding=UTF8&tag=missmadi-20)

(click to enlarge)

our own little farm

Some people might think we collect children.  That's ridiculous.  After all, we only have four children.  Let me tell you what we do collect, though.  Pets! 

Currently, we have:

6 fish

1 snake (found in the backyard, surrounded by a circle of chickens)

7 chickens, and 1 rabbit who thinks he's a chicken (more on that later)

One of our chickens lives in the house.  I know.  You are so jealous.  After all, not just anyone gets to have a chicken in their house! 
(She has a broken leg, and will hopefully re-join the flock outdoors in the near future.)

Having your own little farm is educational, right?  And we homeschool.  So....that's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it.