the little girls

   

I just ran across this picture from a couple months ago.  I think we'll have to frame this one for Granny & Papa!  The girls were having a cousin playdate while the older kiddos were away at school.  I can't wait to see the memories these girls create over the years.  They are such characters!  Madeline and Brooklyn are 3 weeks apart, and Khiana is almost 12 months older. 

Funny Friday

 

We have been known to dress all our kiddos in the same color, to keep track of them at the Children's Museum or a crowded splash pad.  But a trip to Target?  I assure you it was their idea this time.  But I figured we stand out as it is.  Why not really make them wonder? :)  (Can you believe we had 5 shirts in 5 different shades of green, and they all fit?  Nothing short of amazing, I say.)

ps - We're having a great time with cousin Sam this week while his parents celebrate their 10th Anniversary.  Congratulations, Uncle David & Auntie Sarah!

and so we wait....

  

Yesterday morning, as I braided my niece's curls into braids with beads she loves to click-clack, I prayed for the baby girl we would soon add to our family.

Khiana, age 2

Hours later, we received news that our adoption was falling apart. 

Same as before, we won't be sharing much here.  It is a private matter, and we want to respect the privacy of all who are involved. 

Several people asked, when we announced that we were officially matched, if this was the expectant mom we mentioned briefly in this post.  Yes, it is.  All that we will share here is that this was an unusual situation.  This expectant mom knows us -- in real life and through our blog.  We respect her right to do what she feels is best for her.  And we ask for prayers for all of us as we work through some grief about things not working out as planned.

A few thoughts about all of this....

Do we regret announcing our match? 
No, not really.  It is hard when things turn out this way.  But this is life...it is the road we are walking.  We want to live life authentically, even when it is hard.  We are blessed with amazing friends and family who understand the ups and downs of adoption.  They know that in the end, when God brings a baby home through adoption, he or she will be worth the wait. :)

What now?
We grieve and finish letting go.  We relax and take care of each other.  We talk about what we could have handled differently.  We help our children express their disappointment and reassure them that although we thought this would be our baby, she was not our baby yet, and sometimes plans change.

What is the next step?
We're not sure yet, to be honest.  We don't know if God is truly going to grow our family again, or if He just wanted us to walk this road again so we'd be ready when this particular situation arose.  But through this, God is growing our ability to leave that in His hands and not have to have every detail of our lives planned out.  (If you know me, that is HARD! :)

What about fundraising?
Since we don't know what God has in store for us, we will slow down the fundraising until we feel like we have more direction.  Some of you will be relieved to know that I plan to make the whipped body/hair butter indefinitely.  (I know this because you email me and tell me to please, please, not ever stop! ;)  For now, I will keep designating all profits for our adoption fund.  We will start up the Parents' Nights Out and other fun stuff again once we know if God would have us continue to save for another adoption.

Thank you! 
For your loving prayers and support as we excitedly prepared for this little one.  You blessed us so much!

family time

 

Flagstaff, AZ

I wish we had a picture of Ian setting the camera timer, then sprinting around the pond to take his position.  Over and over and over.  Quite successfully, I might add!

AZ Cousins

  

A recent family vacation in Flagstaff yielded a new cousin picture. 

I'm guessing this is the start of a new tradition.....lining up by height. 

Can you imagine all 10 children in one cabin for 4 days?  The good news is we all survived.

In fact, we do this every year and we actually look forward to it! :)

Mighty Mud Mania

It's not my fault.  I give Andy full credit.  He's the one who took them to the real Mud Mania last month.  I bet these kids have been waiting for a day like today -- a day I naively said, "Sure, you can play in the hose. Just stay in the shade."  Ha!  I went out a little later, and Lucas, Destany, and their cousin Devin exclaimed, "We made our own mighty mud mania!"  Highlight of my day....stripping them down and hosing them off.  No baths needed today! ;)

Innocent little boy, out picking flowers, when suddenly he is attacked by mud monsters! 

baby hair

With Destany, learning to care for her beautiful curls was a journey that I enjoyed, but was also worried about.  I understood how important it was to take good care of her hair, and knew I was doing fine, but I also overanalyzed it! 

Now, with my niece, I just have fun with hair.  When I babysit for Khiana, I like to get my hands in her hair and come up with something new and fun.  And since she doesn't live with me, I don't have to worry about how it holds up, or whether that one crooked part will drive me crazy.  Her mama loves it, too, so I pretty much have free reign!  Thanks for sharing your cutie, Sis'! :)

(You got your picture, Auntie Kiara. 

Now can you pick me up already???)