ON HOLD

Yep, you read that right.  We're on hold.  Our adoption, that is. 

This journey has been hard, but so worth it.  We can look back with complete confidence, knowing we followed God and we were where we were supposed to be, when we were supposed to be there.  (How's that for a tongue twister? ;)

Important connections were made during each of our failed adoptions.  And God grew us and our children through each experience.   

We are always open to another.  But lately we've noticed a new contentment stealing in.  For the first time, we're not talking constantly about 'our next baby'.  We're at peace with where we are.  Four children is keeping us very busy right now.  And it's lovely to see that we LOVE having four children.  They really do balance each other out!

We will be a 'back up' or 'emergency placement' family for our agency for a while yet.  But it seems as if our drive to adopt, our longing for another baby, has disappeared for a while. 

I promise it's not because it was too hard, or because the journey scared us away from trying again.  Adoption is not easy.  But it is *always* worth it. 

We will adopt again in a heartbeat if/when we feel God is leading us that way. :)

For now, we're taking care of business at home.  We're putting extra time and energy into caring for Keandre's health (he's down to only 10 safe foods -- more on that later).  We're helping Nichole and Keandre adjust to new levels of understanding and grieving regarding their adoption stories.  We're pulling back from extra activities and making sure our priorities are in the right place.  (Always a work in progress!)  Best of all -- we have a peace about this.

And.....here's the awkward part.  The money.  Our plan for now is to hold onto that money until we feel clear direction on what is next.  It's possible God is just giving us a rest from the journey, and time to care for other needs.  We do know that if our agency called us and needed us, we would jump in wholeheartedly, and our children would be ecstatic!  If that doesn't happen, we're planning to donate the money that is currently in our adoption fund to a non-profit organization that gives adoption grants to families in the process and who are struggling to pay the legal fees.  (If you prefer to have your donation returned, please don't hesitate to contact me.  We understand.)

Phew!  I feel better now.  This has been weighing heavy on me.  Maybe now I'll have the energy to catch up on those body butter orders. :)

A few of you are breathing deep sighs of relief right now.  Seriously, I am so flattered that you keep coming back for more!  Don't worry -- I'll continue to sell our organic whipped body butters and chapsticks. :)  But for the time being, the money will fund other important family needs, like treatment for Keandre's health issues.