I've talked a little in the past about the many blessings of a healthy open adoption. But it's important to realize that open adoptions do not remove the normal grieving process that most children experience as they begin to understand the losses they have experienced along with the blessings.
Destany and I are writing this post together, to share some analogies that describe our contact with her birth family, whom she adores and often wishes she could see every week.
1) Our family life is like a hot fudge sundae. It is good all on its own, and we are very blessed to have each other. When we spend time with Destany's birth family, they are the cherry on top! They make it just that much better. But when time together is not possible, whatever the reason, we let ourself feel sad, then try to also appreciate the many blessings we still have.
2) Destany also suggested that her birth mother is like a headband. When Destany has a beautiful hair style, she celebrates it! But no matter how pretty her braids or twists are, she always thinks she looks prettier with a headband. It is the little extra that makes her smile.
3) Birth family is like flowers in a colorful vase. The vase is beautiful and precious all on its own. But those flowers sure do accent it well!
We had fun coming up with lots of other silly analogies, but you'll have to ask us in person about those! For now, I'm just thankful that God has blessed us with ideas for creative ways to work through some sad feelings. As I tucked her into bed tonight, my sweet daughter was cuddly, delighting in these quiet moments together, and feeling very loved. And I am praising the Lord for His grace, healing, and presence in our lives.