Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Birthmother's Day

We all know about Mother's Day, but did you know that another holiday is celebrated that same weekend?  Birthmother's Day is the day before Mother's Day, and in our family we treat it as a special day to celebrate our connection with our children's birthmothers. 

In years past, I have sent an update and special card around Birthmother's Day.  But last year we were able to start a new tradition.  For the first time, Destany and I officially celebrated Birthmother's day with her birthmom, Nichole.  We had a fun and meaningful morning together at a local restaurant, treating ourselves to lots of uninterrupted time to catch up, and a special breakfast to celebrate the relationship we have together.

A few days ago, Destany called Nichole to invite her out to breakfast this next Saturday.  She was delighted when Nichole said, "Well, of course!"  Hopefully Baby Girl will cooperate so we can make some more special memories. :)

Keandre's birthmother lives out of state, and we have only sporadic contact right now, but we have been emailing back and forth this week and I am enjoying the opportunity to put together a special update and new pictures for her as well.  As always, we are thankful that no matter the ups and downs we've faced in our relationship with her, she knows without a doubt that she is special to us and we care about her a lot. 


Roxanne said...

Kiara, I love to hear about your continuing journey of adoption and your relationships with their birthmoms. I love that your story is about so much more than bringing home a baby, that it's also about loving their birth families.

Mandy @ The Party of 3 said...

Awesome!:) We have no contact with our daughter's birthmother but we do have a very special talk about her every year on Birthmothers Day!!

Sean's Ladies said...

The girls asked if Destany wanted her hair fancy for birthmother's day! I guess they had a little chat about it today. :) led to some interesting conversations today.

I think it is a bit odd that the author of the article said N. American birthmothers

I wonder how many kiddos are triggered by the dates being so close together?

Andy and Kiara said...

Roxanne -- Thanks for the encouragement! Yes, that has definitely been a very specific goal of ours. We are so thankful! :)

Mandy -- That's great that you are able to use this weekend, whether it be bmom's day or mother's day, to have a special talk with your daughter. Open communication with our kiddos is so healing for them.

Andy and Kiara said...

Cate --
That IS odd! I didn't notice that the first time through. I wonder if that's because the holiday was thought of by some bmoms in Seattle? But still....it seems odd for them to say the point is about specific children. I would think the point is to give an opportunity to honor women who have made an adoption plan and don't want to be forgotten. And for adoptive families, we can use that same day to have meaningful conversations with our children and help them also remember, grieve, honor, etc. Whatever they need most at that time. :)
It's different knowing our kiddos have these conversations on their own now, huh?

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